


Winter Hearts

by annachibi



Series: Autumn Hearts Universe [2]
Category: Victoria (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Christmas, Dating, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Making Out, Mentions of open relationships, Older Man/Younger Woman, Romance, additional tags pending later chapters, mentions of threesomes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-30
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-02-08 21:25:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12873351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annachibi/pseuds/annachibi
Summary: Vicbourne modern AU, set immediately after Autumn Hearts.William and Victoria are now officially dating, with all the ups and downs that entails. Victoria's family has also returned from their holiday abroad and is not so accepting of this new relationship. Can they stick it out through the storm?





	1. First Date

**Author's Note:**

> This is set in England and uses British terms, but I've used American spelling since I'm from the US. Only two chapters are finished at the moment, unlike last time when I had everything written before I started posting anything. However, it's been so long, and I really wanted to get something out before the end of the year. So even if it isn't finished yet, I hope you enjoy it!

    Victoria fiddled with her bracelet, turning each bead so that she could see all of each tiny flower contained within. Oncidium Twinkle orchids, William had finally told her. They were a special miniature variety. He had chosen orchids because they symbolized what he believed to be some of her best qualities: strength, beauty, charm, purity, and creativity. But she had looked them up later for herself and discovered other meanings he hadn’t mentioned: reverence, humility, devotion, and the fact that in centuries past, orchids were extremely rare in England, making them a particularly poignant declaration of the strength of one’s love for the recipient. Perhaps it was a slightly outdated meaning now, but knowing how he felt about her, coupled with the fact that he had given her the bracelet partly as an apology, there was no doubt in her mind that he had meant all those things, whether he quite realized them at the time or not.

    Since she had returned from abroad, she had been busy with finding a job and a more permanent place to stay, and he had been busy with the start of the school year, so they hadn’t had very much time together. Today, however, they were going on a date--their first proper date! Her best friend, Marianne, had come over to her brand new flat to help her pick out an outfit. After an hour of trying on clothes, they finally settled on a fuzzy red pullover, matching skirt, knit stockings, and brown lace-up boots. For the final touch, she put on vibrant red lipstick, which she rarely wore and he had never seen on her. She only had to wait for him to come pick her up, since he had insisted on that, and then…

    “He’s here!” Marianne squealed, her face glued to the window over the sofa as she petted Dash’s fur absently. Then she seemed to remember that he could probably see her and hurried to grab her purse and jacket, whispering excitedly to Victoria, “He’s wearing a waistcoat!”

    She giggled at her friend’s fascination with fashion, but her stomach filled with butterflies at the thought of William all dressed up for her. They’d known each other for a year, they’d gone places together before, even hung out in ways that others might consider like a date, but this was different. This time, it wasn’t about what they were going to do, it was about the fact that what they did would be _specifically for each other_. While she’d been getting dressed, she thought about whether or not he would like how she looked. He must have done the same thing. While they were out together, their thoughts would be focused on each other almost the whole time. The idea of it nearly made her dizzy. She was already at the door when the bell rang, but she waited a few moments (while shushing Dash, who’d jumped up and run over to the door) before opening it so as not to appear over-eager.

    Her breath hitched in her throat as she took in the sight of him. Clean-shaven, green eyes bright, wearing a gray suit jacket and waistcoat over a white dress shirt, William smiled in a shy way that softened his sharp features. He held out a small potted plant, its white-and-purple flowers not quite hiding their frilly-edged yellow centers.

    “I have been told that giving flowers on a first date is considered old-fashioned, but I was hoping this could also count as a house-warming gift,” he said, laughing as her little dog yipped and begged for attention.

    “Always so thoughtful. Thank you!” She beamed at him, taking the plant with both hands. “I don’t mind old-fashioned. What kind of flowers are they?”

    “Cattleyas. They’re a type of orchid. E-Easy for beginners, you see.”

    From the way he stuttered slightly and ducked his chin as he looked away for a moment, she knew he was only telling her half of the truth. This time, however, she knew from her research the other half that he wasn’t saying out loud. She giggled as she went to place her gift on a side table for now. Marianne sidled past her to leave.

    “Have fun, you two!”

    Victoria grinned and waved as she came back to the door. “We will!”

    Her friend waved back and winked before heading down the street. Victoria then called Dash back inside and told him to stay, which he did with slight reluctance.

    “Be a good boy until I get back, Dashy. Alright, shall we go?” she asked, stepping outside and locking the door behind her. “In fact, where _are_ we going?”

    “It’s a surprise,” William replied with a smirk.

 

    Their destination turned out to be a trendy new restaurant that had only opened a couple weeks earlier. Victoria had mentioned it to William once in passing, noting that it was supporting local artists to decorate the place. Her interest was more in the art and support than the restaurant itself; nevertheless, she was pleased that he had been paying so much attention to what she said. Besides, their date would give her a chance to check out the artwork up close. Though it was entirely likely that she would be too distracted by her handsome date to pay much mind to the decor.

    She giggled as he held the door open for her, then blushed when he settled his hand on the small of her back as they went inside. They had never physically expressed affection for each other so publicly before. It felt like everyone’s eyes were on them, and it was rather exciting. When she glanced up at him, she caught his eye and he smiled softly--not a wide, beaming smile, but it somehow conveyed all the joy and radiance of one without his lips even parting.

    As they were led to their table, her gaze was drawn to the giant far wall which was divided into four sections by curved brickwork, each one containing a mural depicting a season in a different style. It just so happened that their table was situated right next to the winter mural. William pulled out her chair for her to sit down and she sat in an exaggeratedly dainty way, which got a chuckle out of him before he took his own seat opposite hers. The waiter took their orders for drinks and left them with menus to decide on their meals.

    “Do you enjoy being such a perfect gentleman?” she asked with a winning smile and a raised brow.

    “Yes, actually,” he said with a quiet laugh, looking a little self-conscious. “Is it too old-fashioned for you?”

    “No, as long as you like it, I don’t mind. It’s cute when you do it because you want to. It only gets annoying when a man insists on that kind of thing for no reason, or because he thinks women can’t do it for themselves, or uses it as a way to charm a woman into his bed.”

    His cheeks turned rosy and he had a mischievous glint in his eyes as he opened his mouth to speak, but then he cleared his throat and opened his menu in front of his face, hiding it from her.

    She reached out and pushed it down gently so she could see him again. “What? What were you going to say?”

    “I-I shouldn’t say. It’s not appropriate.”

    Head tilting curiously and eyebrows high, she huffed out a laugh. “Not appropriate? Oh, now you _have_ to tell me,” she insisted.

    He looked like he might protest for a moment, but then, realizing she would not budge on this, he cleared his throat and leaned in, his voice hushed. “I was going to say, I do like doing things for you just to show my affection, but… well, if it also happened to have the side effect of charming you, then I hope you wouldn’t hold that against me.”

    It was her turn to blush as her face showed all her surprise and delight at his comment. “I wouldn’t hold that against you at all. But maybe I would hold other things against you.”

    He laughed, one hand covering his mouth as he tried not to be too loud.

    She giggled too, captivated by his ability to put her at ease. What was it about him that made him such a calming influence on her? He was a wonderfully attentive listener, quick with a joke or a chuckle, charismatic in all the best ways. Sometimes she wondered what he saw in her that could possibly make her seem special to someone as lovely as him. Did he love her as much as she loved him? Perhaps it was impossible to know. Perhaps it was too _early_ to know. After all they had gone through to get this far, she wasn’t about to push him into anything before she knew he was good and ready. At least for now.

    For a little while, they busied themselves with reading their menus, occasionally remarking about this or that dish as they tried to decide what to order. She settled on hers and glanced up at the mural next to them. The artist had painted a beautiful, snowy landscape with a single tree in the center, the rising or setting sun peeking out with orange light between its bare branches. A few bird nests settled in the tree’s nooks and crannies. On the top limbs, a group of birds gathered. She recognized the species immediately by their black plumage and the bald spots around their beaks.

    “Look!” she said, waving her hand to get William’s attention. “Those are rooks!”

    He simply grinned. “I wondered if you would notice.”

    “Of course!” Fondly, she recalled some of their earliest days together, when they sat in the courtyard of Melbourne Hall and casually bird-watched. He had showed her how to identify the rooks from the crows and ravens, as they were one of his favorite types of birds. It was hard to believe that it had been only a year since then. She felt so much older since graduation. Her summer abroad after his ill-timed confession had seemed to last for ages. But the time away made their time together that much sweeter. Reaching under the table, she felt for his hand and took hold of it, watching how his smile softened his entire face as he squeezed her fingers gently in response.

    The waiter came back to take their orders, and then it was simply a matter of waiting for the food to arrive. She sipped her drink as they chatted pleasantly about work and how she was getting settled into her new apartment. Then, suddenly, her stomach grumbled loudly, and she froze with a guilty expression.

    William raised a brow, half-smirking. “Was that _you_?”

    “I believe so…”

    “Well, I hope the food comes quickly, then.” He chuckled, resting one elbow on the table and putting his chin in his hand as he gazed at her affectionately, his voice going a bit soft. “I forgot to mention earlier that you look beautiful tonight. Er, not that you don’t usually, but--”

    “I know what you mean,” she said with a giggle. “You look pretty handsome, yourself. Marianne seemed rather impressed with your outfit.”

    “Marianne, but not you?” He grinned to show he was teasing her.

    As she giggled again, the waiter came by with their food, and she took the opportunity to really appreciate his physical features while he had his attention turned to them instead. Certainly he looked dashing in his gray suit, and the fact that he wasn’t wearing a tie was a nice casual touch. But honestly, it was his face that she found most attractive. When those attentive, piercing green eyes were focused on her, she could hardly think of anything else. At the moment, however, he was smiling from ear to ear, having just made a joke that the waiter laughed at. It was so infectious, the way his toothy grin gave him apple cheeks and deepened his laugh lines. She found herself smiling as well, and she still was when the waiter left and he finally turned back to her.

    “What’s that face for?” he asked, apple cheeks turning red.

    She just shook her head and put her napkin in her lap. “Just thinking how cute you are when you smile like that.”

    “Really? I’ve always thought my smile is a bit funny-looking.”

    “It’s not!” she protested, but then laughed softly. “Well, maybe a little. But that just makes it even more cute!”

    He blushed darker, smiling shyly as he looked down at his plate and began to eat. “You’re only saying that because you like me.”

    “Now _that_ is not--” Finally seeing her own food, she was distracted by how small the portions were. A frown furrowed her brows. “--what I expected.”

    “What’s wrong?” he asked, immediately sitting up straighter.

    She attempted to relax her face to hide her disappointment. “Nothing, it’s just… a bit smaller than I imagined it would be.”

    “Oh. I suppose I should have researched the actual food before getting us reservations here. I’m sorry, Victoria.”

    “Don’t apologize,” she said, giving him a reassuring look. “It’s not your fault, it’s these trendy restaurants spending their whole budget on atmosphere rather than substance. Besides, I’m the one who mentioned this place to begin with.”

    He sighed, chewing thoughtfully. “Even so… We can always order more.”

    “At these prices? No, let’s just do something else after. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that we’re on our first proper date and we get to spend time together.”

    “Alright, but you have to let me spoil you some time.”

    “Oh, I will. Don’t you worry about that,” she said with a laugh.


	2. Depth of Feeling

     About two hours after the beginning of their dinner date, Victoria and William carried takeaway into her little flat, Dash greeting them excitedly at the door. They were both joking and laughing in good humor as they laid out their food on the side table where the cattleyas had been placed earlier. Victoria wasted no time claiming her portion and settling onto the sofa to eat. Dash settled at her feet, eagerly watching for any falling morsels he might snap up.

     “So what sort of bird would I be, then?” she asked, unlacing her boots and taking them off as she continued the conversation they’d been having on their way back.

     William laughed. “You? You would be… a sparrow.”

     She wrinkled her nose in distaste. “But they’re so plain.”

     “Not at all! Perhaps they don’t have vibrant colors, but very few birds do. Anyway, it’s not about how they look, it’s about how they act. They have an exceptional amount of energy for their small size,” he said with a smirk.

     She tried to pout indignantly, but the effect was mostly ruined by her laughter. “You’re making fun of me!”

     He chuckled and, having put together his own plate, sat down next to her, kissing her cheek. “Only with the utmost affection.”

     “I hate being short,” she huffed in annoyance. “People are constantly underestimating me. Not even high heels make enough of a difference.”

     “Some people take advantage of being underestimated. Have you tried that?”

     “Not really. It seems dishonest,” she admitted, shoveling food into her mouth.

     “Ah, but it is entirely the opposite. It uses their assumptions against them. Only people who make unfounded assumptions are affected, which is what makes it such a beautiful tactic. It’s especially effective against people who continue to hold prejudiced viewpoints even after their assumptions have been refuted.”

     She smiled softly, her blue eyes twinkling with amusement. “You sound like you’ve put quite a lot of thought into this, but surely nobody would underestimate  _ you _ .”

     “People can underestimate a great deal of things. Intelligence, bravery, depth of feeling...”

     “You have a great depth of feeling, but it’s not immediately apparent.  _ I _ even doubted it at one point, you know.”

     William’s face darkened slightly with guilt, his eyebrows knitting together as he seemed to consider how he might respond to such a comment. Victoria put down her half-eaten meal and scooted closer, reaching out with both hands to cup his cheeks.

     “I don’t say that to make you feel bad about it,” she said, her voice soft and gentle. “I say it so that you understand me better. I know you were afraid, but I don’t judge you for that. You came through in the end, after all. I just want you to trust me. I want you to be able to tell me anything.”

     He nodded, then turned his head to kiss the palm of her hand. “I want that too.”

     Giggling a little, she watched how his lips lingered against her skin. “Are you going to kiss me now? That’s supposed to happen on a first date, isn’t it?”

     “I  _ am _ kissing you,” he said, tickling her palm with his breath as he smirked behind it, green eyes bright with mischief.

     “Oh, don’t you argue semantics with me!”

     “If you insist.”

     Setting aside his own food, William leaned in and kissed her--softly at first, almost teasingly chaste, before she shifted closer and he sensed her impatience. Then suddenly he pressed forward to meet her fully, arms circling her waist as the kiss deepened, eliciting a small squeak of surprise from her. He almost pulled away at that, but she grabbed the lapels of his jacket and tugged him back down, opening her mouth against his invitingly. The taste of curry from the take-away danced on her tongue, the heat of spices and kisses both flushing her cheeks pink.

     She couldn’t seem to get enough to satisfy herself. Moving onto her knees on the sofa afforded her the extra height she needed to press her body against his as she quested her tongue into his mouth, searching out as much contact between them as possible. His soft gasp in response sent a thrill down her spine. The normally so composed professor could be made to gasp because of her? Would he do it again? Would he do it  _ louder _ ? She was eager to find out.

     Moving one leg over between his, Victoria straddled William’s knee and let her lips stray along his jaw to his neck. He smelled earthy and warm, like lavender and loam and damp pine needles crushed under foot. She wanted to bury her face against his skin and just breathe in the scent of him for hours, but she would content herself with burying her fingers in his dark, silver-speckled curls and kissing his throat.

     That is, until he grabbed her hips and moaned.

     It was a quiet sound, barely audible, but she knew he had done it because she felt the vibrations from his voice against her lips. Grazing her teeth across his skin gently, she was rewarded with a similar reaction, as if he were a purring cat. When she trailed her kisses up to his ear and nipped at the lobe, his voice came out breathy and deliciously deep.

     “I thought you wanted  _ me _ to kiss  _ you _ ,” he said, spreading his big hands against her back so that she let out a pleased hum and leaned into them.

     “Must have changed my mind,” she teased, smirking.

     “Must have,” he repeated with a smile.

     He leaned toward her and she met his lips again, sighing happily into their lingering kiss. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been this happy. Maybe she never had.

     “Will you stay tonight?” she asked.

     He chuckled but shook his head. “For all that talk of charming you into bed, I didn’t intend to do so tonight. It’s only our first date, after all.”

     “But we’re hardly strangers,” she pointed out, optimistic yet knowing she was fighting a losing battle.

     “Victoria.” His tone wasn’t disapproving or chiding, especially as there was still laughter in his eyes and his smile, but he said her name with the sort of finality that signaled he would not budge on the matter.

     Sighing in defeat, she settled into his lap and lay against his chest, folded up in his arms. He was warm, probably too warm in his waistcoat and jacket, but he didn’t move to take anything off. “Can’t fault me for trying.”

     His laugh rumbled through his chest. “No.”

     She felt him press a kiss to the top of her head as she closed her eyes for a moment, listening to the dull but strong thud of his heartbeat. “It’s a cliche, isn’t it?”

     “Hm?”

     “Feeling safe in your arms, hearing your heartbeat like a reassurance that you’re alive and real and…” She struggled to find the words to express what she was feeling. “And  _ this _ is real.  _ We’re _ real. It’s not a dream, you know?”

     His embrace tightened slightly. “I do know.”

     “How did I get so lucky?”

     “That’s my line,” he argued, his smile evident in his voice.

     She giggled, and then yawned suddenly.

     “Miss Windsor, I do believe it is time for you to retire.”

     Her laughter at his uppity tone was cut short by another yawn, after which she managed to whine, “But I don’t  _ want _ to retire!”

     William shifted to stand up, gently pushing her back to her own spot on the sofa. A half-smirk lightened his expression as he attempted to be firm with her. “Yes, you’ve made it quite clear what you want, but we both have things to do tomorrow and must get a full night’s rest, or at least attempt one. Have a little patience. No need to rush into anything.”

     She pouted up at him as he prepared to leave. “I thought you liked it when I rushed into things.”

     “I like your  _ determination _ ,” he said with a chuckle. “Not always the same thing.”

     She sighed dramatically and followed him to the door, Dash at their heels. Touching the doorknob, he hesitated for a moment, then turned around to face Victoria again.

     “You aren’t cross with me, are you?”

     The sincerity in his voice and the way his dark eyebrows turned up worriedly caused a sudden pleasant sensation of butterflies in her stomach. He was really and truly concerned that she was upset with him, even just a little bit! Maybe her pouting had worked a little too well. Smiling, she shook her head and placed her hands on his chest for balance as she stood on her toes to kiss him one last time. “No, not at all. I was just teasing you. I can be patient.”

     “Good,” he said, seeming to sigh slightly in relief. “We have all the time in the world, don’t we? Let’s just take it slowly.”

     “Of course,” she agreed. “A nice, medium course between my rushing about and your snail’s pace.”

     He laughed and opened the door, a cold breeze making her shiver. “Sounds perfect. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

     “Okay. I-I love you!” she said, the declaration bursting forth a little loudly, causing her to blush a deep red as it rang in her own ears.

     However, he seemed unfazed, even delighted, with her giddy words. His own were soft and tempered with warmth. “I love you, too.”

     She could have squeaked with happiness, but she managed to hold back and only beam at him, waving goodbye. Closing the door against the cold, she moved to the window and continued waving as he got in his car and drove out of sight. Then she did finally let out a happy squeal as she flopped onto the sofa. Yes, they had said those words to each other before, but never so casually. And the whole evening had been so, so lovely.  _ He _ had been so lovely…

     Not willing to be left out of the fun, Dash jumped up on Victoria and covered her face in big wet dog kisses. “Dashy! Yes, I love you, too! Love, love, love!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all I have for now! I have all sorts of bits and pieces for after this, just not a finished chapter yet. I don't know how long it will take me, but hopefully it will be sooner rather than later. At least it doesn't end on a cliffhanger, eh? ;D


	3. The Man Who Breaks Hearts

    Things became slightly more complicated between William and Victoria over the next few weeks. Victoria’s family returned from their holiday abroad, and though she tried to avoid her mother most of the time, William could tell it preoccupied her mind more than she admitted. Furthermore, she finally found a job in her chosen field. It turned out that shifts at the animal shelter weren’t very compatible with the schedule of a university professor, especially when she worked weekends. But eventually, they figured out how to make the most of their time off to see each other. Sometimes one of them would even visit the other at work and bring lunch. It wasn’t ideal, but of course, as Victoria was learning, not much about “adult life” was ideal.

    Over the Christmas holiday, while William went to visit with his sister and nieces and nephews, Victoria ended up going to her mother’s house after all. For a couple days, everything was pleasant. She and her relatives sang carols, played in the snow, ate too much food, told family stories, exchanged gifts--all the things one would expect of a happy Christmas. In fact, Victoria was beginning to think she would go home to her little flat with the entire holiday having been entirely drama-free. But it was not to be.

    Thinking back on it later, she would come to realize it was inevitable that someone ask her about her current love life. Gossip-prone relatives couldn’t resist the topics of jobs and dating. Since she had already told them all about her new job and her career aspirations, there was nothing left for her to say on that subject. And so, dating.

    And so, Professor William Lamb.

    She had not quite realized how many people knew about him, or knew _of_ him, or had heard some vague but juicy gossip relating to him at some point or another. Obviously, with her Uncle Leo essentially being his employer at the university, she expected her family to know some things, specifically his being one of her former professors, his wife’s scandalous affair, and his young son’s death. And of course, there was the age difference, which she was prepared to defend if need be. What she did _not_ expect was that her mother seemed to know something about William that Victoria did not, and it was partially on the basis of this information that she so vehemently opposed their relationship. Fortunately, none of this came up until Victoria was getting ready to leave.

    "It is entirely inappropriate!” her mother insisted, following her into the main hallway. “You do not know him as well as you think you do, Drina."

    Victoria was already shrugging on her coat. "Neither do you!"

    "Oh, but I do. What has he told you of his late wife? Did he make it sound very tragic?"

    "It _was_ tragic, Mama! She _died_!"

    "Yes, but before that."

    Victoria paused with one glove on and turned to look at her mother, eyes narrowed. "What are you getting at?"

    "He was not faithful to her, Drina."

    Scoffing, she resumed putting on her gloves. " _She_ was not faithful to _him_!"

    Her mother shook her head, lips pursed in an expression that Victoria knew well, having seen it often when her mother felt she knew what was best for her. "Many things happened, but he is and always has been the kind of man who steals and breaks hearts. I do not want to see him break yours."

    “...You’re lying.”

    “Ask him.”

    “I will!” Victoria spat out the words before grabbing her luggage bag and storming out of the house.

    As she trudged her way through the snow and ice to the train station, her mind whirled, thoughts swinging from one possibility to the other. Was her mother lying? Had she simply heard some ridiculous rumor? She hadn’t even said what it was! But if she was telling the truth, that meant that William had kept something from her, didn’t it? Had he lied to her or simply omitted something? Victoria didn’t want to believe he had lied to her, but truth be told, she didn’t want to believe her mother had lied to her, either. The worst of it was that she had no idea what her mother meant, so she couldn’t even make up her mind about who to believe. Oh, the woman made her so furious sometimes! She had ruined a perfectly good Christmas!

    Victoria couldn’t be angry by herself for very long, however, and the ride back into the city would take some time. Frustration built up in her steadily, threatening to spill over before she even reached the station. Cheeks flaming with anger and embarrassment and the effort of holding back tears, she managed to get onto the train and take her seat before the first ones fell. Internally, she berated herself for crying over something like this. Her mother always knew exactly what buttons to push to make her angry. She had thought that maybe, now that she had completely moved out and was living on her own, that would change. Unfortunately, it didn’t.

    She couldn’t go back to her lonely little flat like this; she would only keep mulling over it in her head until she couldn’t stand it anymore. She had to ask William about what her mother had said as soon as possible. Wiping furiously at the tears that continued to drip down her cheeks, she took out her mobile and texted him, asking if he was at home yet.

    “Just got here,” said his text back a few minutes later. “Why?”

    “I’m coming to see you,” she sent quickly. Then, not wanting him to worry about what this sudden visit meant, she sent along a smiley face and a heart as well.

    “Ok, I’ll be here xoxo” was his last message.

    She let out a sigh of relief, feeling a little better already just knowing that she would be able to get to the bottom of everything soon. The ride into the city couldn’t be over soon enough.

 

    The cold wind whipped at her hair and stung her skin as she walked up the steps to William’s door and knocked, mind whirling as she considered how to broach the subject. But she didn’t have to do it herself; with one look at her face, he knew she was fit to burst with the effort of holding something in, though he had no idea what.

    “What happened?” he asked, ushering her inside where it was warm and cozy and, oh, all she wanted to do was melt into his arms and forget about everything. “What’s the matter?”

    She put down her luggage and took a deep breath, suddenly wanting to cry all over again. “Mother ruined Christmas. Everything’s gone all wrong! She said horrible things about you and I stormed out and I’m afraid to ask you about them because I don’t know if--”

    “Victoria, love,” he interrupted, taking her coat and gesturing to the front room. “Let’s sit down and you can start at the beginning.”

    She did as he suggested, making herself as comfortable as she could on the sofa. She remembered sitting here with him over a year before, fingers running along the upholstery as if the furniture could impart some knowledge about the professor. It was William who had needed comforting then, his thoughts consumed by memories of his late son. He had shared so much with her. Surely, he wouldn’t lie to her now. Sitting next to her, he leaned forward and gave her his full attention, puppy-dog eyes and fuzzy jumper with a cartoon reindeer on it making him seem like the gentlest person in the world. He was a good man, a man of integrity and compassion. Why was she even worried?

    “You know you can ask me anything. What did your mother say about me?”

    She swallowed hard against the lump in her throat. “Were you… Did you ever cheat on your wife?”

    The puppy-dog eyes disappeared. He sat back, looking at his lap for a moment before he met her gaze again. “That depends on your definition of cheating.”

    Her heart dropped into her stomach. “There’s only one definition.”

    “No, there most certainly isn’t.”

    “There most certainly is!” she argued. “William, tell me the truth!”

    He let out an exasperated breath, hands open with his palms up as if searching for the right words. "We had a somewhat open relationship--"

    "That's just what people say when they don't want to admit they were cheating!"

    "I promise you, we both agreed upon it! We often participated in activities with others _together_ , Victoria. I know it's unconventional even by modern standards, but neither of us were particularly conventional people."

    "So you never had sex with someone other than your wife while you were married?" she asked accusingly.

    He sighed. "I never said that."

    "Then that's cheating!"

    "Is it? If she encouraged me to do it, was that cheating? If she participated but was not specifically penetrated by me, was that cheating?"

    "Well, that's..." she sputtered, red-cheeked with embarrassment at his frank wording. Did people even do things like that? _Married_ people? She had never considered it.

    "You see? It's not always as cut-and-dried as you might think. What matters is that everyone involved, physically or emotionally, is in complete agreement throughout the entire encounter. I had my misgivings about it in the beginning, as well. What if I became jealous or felt left out? What if she did? I worried about seeming to spend too much time on someone else or leading her to believe she did not still have priority as my wife. As it turns out, communication is the key to all that. You must _always_ have a dialogue open and available to express your feelings without fear of reproach. It's difficult. And I admit, perhaps we were not always as good at that as we should have been. But for a time, we were both very happy with the arrangements we had made, and it even seemed to strengthen our relationship."

    Victoria took a minute to digest the idea, her brows furrowed, small mouth tugged down at the corners. "But... if you love someone and enjoy having sex with them, why would you want to bring someone else into that? Isn't it enough?"

    "There are various reasons. That can be enough for some people. Caroline and I wanted to try activities that we couldn't do ourselves, or ones where we weren't particularly compatible."

    "Like what?"

    William went nearly red as a beet. "Well, er, that’s generally something one discusses in the later stages of a relationship..."

    “Are _we_ compatible for those activities?”

    “I-I don’t know yet. That’s something we’ll have to discover together.”

    She sighed, feeling suddenly rather drained, whether from the current conversation or having been so upset with her mother, or both, she couldn’t tell. “So… you had an open marriage…”

    “You say that like it’s such a radical idea. It’s not that different from a married couple who has a threesome now and then.”

    “Threesomes are fantasies! Or things people brag about doing in university! They don’t have them after they get married - not usually!”

    William stood up and went to the liquor cabinet in the corner of the room to pour himself a drink. “How would _you_ know? How many married couples do you even know, let alone ones with whom you are close enough to discuss sexual matters?”

    Victoria’s hands curled into fists as anger rose up to color her cheeks. This was an important subject to her, more important than almost anything, and he just kept dismissing her views out of hand. And now, watching him lean against the cabinet and sip his drink without meeting her eyes, it seemed to her that he was checking out of the conversation altogether. He had never been so condescending to her before.

    “You think you know everything, but your own marriage _failed_!” she shot back, then immediately froze, regretting her words.

    William paused with his drink in hand, eyes turning soft and sad. She bit her lip, knowing that she had dealt him a low blow. The failure of his marriage hadn’t been his fault, at least not entirely. Caroline was the one who had decided to run off and have an affair. Whatever he had done, Victoria didn’t believe he had deserved that. She stood up, taking a few steps toward him, opening her mouth to apologize, but he spoke first, quieter now.

    “You're right, I suppose. For all the ways I tried to ensure that our relationship was sexually fulfilling, I could have done more to make it emotionally fulfilling as well. I sometimes wonder if perhaps I had been less focused on my career and my--”

    “It wasn’t your fault!” she insisted, cutting off his melancholy musings. “I’m sorry for saying that; I didn’t mean it. Even if there were things you could have done better, she could have brought that up and tried to make it work. It was _her_ decision to run off and break her marriage vows. I would never do such a thing.”

    “No,” he agreed with a wry smile, putting down his drink and taking her hands in his. Brushing his thumbs over her skin, he kept his gaze upon their clasped hands, visibly struggling against the threat of tears. “I don’t believe you would. I apologize if I’ve been argumentative about this. Many people have misconceptions about relationships of that nature, so I was afraid that you would think ill of me. Or worse, decide that it meant we couldn’t be together.”

    She took a deep breath, considering her words carefully. “I won’t lie to you - I have a lot of thinking to do about this. It’s… difficult for me to understand. But is that the kind of relationship you expect to have with me?”

    “No, of course not! Well, not unless that’s what you wanted, but it’s absolutely not what I _expect_ , no.”

    “Then there’s no reason we can’t be together,” she said, relieved at how easily she smiled again after the day she’d had.

    He smiled too, though he had to pull one hand away to wipe at his eyes. “Perhaps we should have more conversations about what we want out of this relationship. Make sure we’re both on the same page, so to speak.”

    “Yes, that’s a good idea.”

    There was still so much they had to learn about each other, and she still had to wrap her head around the ideas he had explained. All her life, she had viewed marriage in one very particular way, so it would take some time to understand alternatives. Part of her recoiled from it, but part of her wanted to see it the way William did, too. As long as she didn’t have to actually have that same kind of relationship with him, she reckoned she could come to understand his point of view, though maybe not want it for herself. It would just take time. Time and patience.

    She had a feeling it was going to be a long winter.


End file.
